During the first half of kindergarten, I walked him all the way to his classroom.
Every day thereafter, I dropped him off one foot further away.
On the last day of kindergarten, I walked him to the school’s gates and he walked in on his own.
During first grade, a teacher had to meet us at the playground and physically hold him back so that I could leave in the morning.
Every morning.
It was awful.
During second grade, I dropped him off in front of the school.
I opened his door for him and received a big hug and kiss before he reluctantly walked to his classroom.
During third grade, he opened his own door after leaning forward and giving me a kiss goodbye.
This year, I open the back hatch for him with a button by the steering wheel.
He gets out all by himself, too busy talking with his friend to notice that his Mom told him to have a great day.
Too busy looking for his other friends to stop at the passenger side door and give me a kiss.
But I’m not willing to let go yet.
I open the passenger window and tell him I love him.
He only gets embarrassed when I follow him and proclaim my love for him by yelling “Michael… I looooooove you!”
The camera might be a bit much, I admit.
But it keeps me from being sad that this year, I’m just a ride.
{ 23 comments… read them below or add one }
Enjoy it while you can! Someday you won’t even be just a ride … there comes a point where they equate Mom and ATM. That *really* stinks.
Hugs in the meantime, though. It is hard to watch them grow up.
Oh no! Hugs to you for sure!
Every little bit of raising children is difficult, huh? If they have anxiety about leaving, it is impossibly difficult. When they don’t – also impossibly difficult.
Just know that one day their own children will do the same thing to them, and then they’ll feel bad. Is that any consolation? at all??
Sigh…
.-= Chelsea´s last blog ..Lilly’s 3rd Birthday Party! =-.
Awwww. now this has me tearing up! I so did NOT want Gary to start Kindergarten and I’m dreading 2011 when John starts. I’m just glad Gary still insists on a hug before he gets out of the car.
.-= Michelle´s last blog ..I made something =-.
I am not anxious for these days. He will stop calling, “Mommy, Mommy!” and run for a hug and kiss too, right? I am going to squeeze him all I can in these years that I can (and embarrass him all the others). I feel for you!
Becca,
I’m pregnant and emotional but I was crying when I read this until I read the part where you yelled “I looooovvvveeee youuuu”
Great post as usual.
~Amy
.-= Amy´s last blog ..30 and flirty =-.
Oh I KNOW! Isn’t it terrible?! Ian asked me if I would drop him off a block from his school and let him ride his bike the rest of the way. *Sigh* Marty (our Chihuaua) is slowly starting to be my best friend. :-( Thanks for the camera idea, though! LOVE YA!
It is all part of growing up. It will be fine and in a number of years he will start giving you the kisses once again and not care that the other kids are watching. It will just take a while. It is all good.
Oh I know what you mean. I remember when my oldest (he’ll be 9 on Sat) wouldn’t even acknowledge me at the stop so when I get those “bye Mom’s” … I cherish them. I love the pic from your car window.
.-= jen@ourdailybigtop´s last blog ..a little of this and that =-.
sniff sniff sniff
ah, but you know he loves you!
they all say, “they grow up in the blink of an eye”. It’s more like a quarter of a blink. Feeling your pain there…
Awh that made me tear up! Thanks for reminding me to appreciate the hugs, kisses, and “I love yous” from my little man!
.-= Christina´s last blog ..All About Alex =-.
It’s so bittersweet! I miss all his hugs, kisses and snuggliness, too!
Stevie’s in first grade and I still walk him all the way to his class. There are many cold, snowy mornings that I’d rather not get out of the car, but I know its just a matter of time until he will no longer want me walking him in.
Sweet post!~
.-= Julie From Inmates´s last blog ..Quiet, Refined and Reserved. =-.
You will start getting the hugs and kisses again from the grand kids. WOW! did I just say that? I am right there with you. Just a ride….
:) Did you seriously yell that out the window?! Ha ha that is great!
They have to grow up. Doesn’t make it any more pleasant, though, does it?!
.-= Kristenkj´s last blog ..Visiting =-.
I just completely teared up and vow to enjoy every crazy minute with my boys before they all head off to school in a few years! Sob! Thanks for the great post!
I think you need a megaphone at this point, to really drive your love for him home in front of his friends, yeah that would really be so awesome Becc! :) Andrea always proclaims she is going to cut the umbilical cord…I never did, and I’m glad I didn’t. Oh well, I guess boys are different but I did choke up and became all teary-eyed when I read this. Mom’s can always relate to these stories and so, every Mom reading your blog has a heavy heart for you, and for your cherished memories. Andrea literally pulled my hair out of my head trying to get down off the bus to me in first grade. I was traumatized watching her go. Years later, at certain occasions in her life she literally makes me pull my hair out of my head, part of that “circle of life” I guess… :)
Aw, what a story, I can’t imagine how hard that was the first few years. And now, ugh, do our kids know how very much we love them!?
.-= Carin´s last blog ..The easy way… =-.
Oh – tears. I know it’s supposed to happen but it’s still hard when it does.
Nell
.-= casual friday every day´s last blog ..Have Your Cake And Eat It Too =-.
It is hard. I got sad the last time I took my son to college and he barely hugged me goodbye! I guess a mom’s heart was meant to break over and over again.
.-= debbie´s last blog ..Obsessive Much? =-.
I hate to break it to you, but give him another 30 years and he’ll do something truly awful, like moving continents. My Mom never said anything, but I know it was a huge blow for her when I left London for California.
Just don’t listen to that Abba song, Slipping Through My Fingers, that will really finish you off!
.-= Struggler´s last blog ..Art Chaos: a great problem to have =-.
You know what Bec, I have tried to write so many different things and have erased every thing I write. But you know what, our kids do grow up and it “SUCKS”. When I say goodbye to you and the boys once a year, it “SUCKS” and people say “But that’s life and our kids grow up and go off on their own and meet new people and start new lives, well that “Sucks”.
And you know what? Life “SUCKS” because you can’t keep them in your sight forever and protect them forever from mean people and cruel kids but you can tell them everytime they leave or walk out the door “I love You” and know that they feel the same. Even if they are to embarrassed to admit it in front of their friends, you can see it in their eyes.
So, don’t ever think “You are Just a ride” You are “THE RIDE”
This makes me feel so much better because my 4th grader is exactly the same way…the child who cried and clinged every single day of Pre-K does not want to make eye contact with me when I pick him up from school. Once he’s in the van, he’s all talk though : )
I hate goodbyes! When they’re little and clinging on you every second, you almost can’t wait until they’re big enough to go off on their own, but the saddest thing is… you can’t turn back time. It’s the same for parents everywhere. I feel your pain, Becca! Love you!