White Lies

So, in order for me to tell this I have to admit something.

I lie to my kids. Not (too) often, but it happens.

I tell my backseat drivers that it’s ok to go 5mph or so over the posted speed limit, as long as you’re being really careful.

I have also been known to tell the boys that if they drink all of their milk, they will immediately grow bigger. Because telling a kid that drinking their milk will help them grow bigger in the long run just doesn’t cut it in our house. Michael is too old for that now, but after every sip that Jack takes, he stands up and asks “Am I bigger?”

Of course you are, sweetie. You just grew an inch.

Lately the lie has been me telling Jack that if he doesn’t behave and act like a big boy, I won’t let him turn 5 on Wednesday. It worked on Michael until he was 4, then he realized that lil’ ol’ Mom couldn’t stop him from aging. Sadly, I think this will be Jack’s last year of being lied to… about this, anyway.

Jack has been a little whiny lately so tonight I said, “Jack, if you don’t start acting like a 5 year-old, I am not going to let you turn 5 on Wednesday.”

Those of you who know Jack personally are aware that at this point in the conversation, anything could come out of his mouth.

“That’s good, Mom” he said. “Because if I don’t turn 5 then I don’t have to go to real school. I can just stay in playschool forever.”

Tagged as: funny, Jack